2008 MTV Video Music Awards Results

If the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards had to be summed up in one word it would be 'underwhelming'. Let's start with host Russell Brand. In the commercials he seemed like a funny guy but after the first two minutes of him on stage, he needed to sit down. Commenting on America's political situation, insinuating places he smears cherry chapstick besides his lips, and mocking the Jonas Brothers virginity (to which Jordin Sparks responded "I just want to say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and girl wants to be a slut, OK?"), he managed to offend most of the people in the tiny garage studio MTV decided to hold the show. Their venue selection was pathetic. And can they afford cameras with better image quality?

Brand said that Britney Spear's opening of the show would be "mindbending". Despite her camp claiming she wouldn't be performing, leaked footage of the pop star dancing to a unreleased song and MTV.com's headline of her "epic continuing" over-promised what ending up being nothing more than Britney saying "welcome". Still Spears dominated the night winning all three of the awards that she was nominated for including the coveted Video of the Year for "Piece of Me". The Gnarls Barkley video for "Run" was the only other clip to win more than one moonman.

Rihanna was the show's opening performer, invading the stage with a troupe of dancing zombies a la "Thriller" as she performed "Disturbia". Liberal samples of "Sweet Dreams" and "Seven Nation Army" were thrown in. Christina Aguilera rediscovered modern music and lip synced the new single from her forthcoming greatest hits package, "Keeps Gettin' Better". I think she's trying to steal Lady Gaga's sound and image before anyone realizes who Lady Gaga is.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night came as the Best New Artist was announced. This award was determined by fans texting in their favorite pick, so it seemed logical that whoever had the most 12-16 year old female fans would win. Instead, German band Tokio Hotel snatched the honors. I thought their excess of hair and make up would scare junior high girls away but I guess I'm just out of touch with the youth of today.

Kanye West closed the show performing his new single "Love Lockdown". There were two interesting things to notice about this song. First, it wasn't immediate. Mr. West launched his Graduation album with "Stronger" which was written for the sole purpose of being a hit. After one play, the song was lodged in your head and made it to the top of the charts. "Lockdown", doesn't seem so obsessed with that. Secondly, the rapper did absolutely no rapping. Instead, he crooned into the microphone wearing a gray suit with a glowing red heart pinned next to his lapel. Kanye is out to shatter every hip hop cliche there is and isn't content being just the genre's biggest star. He's out to be the biggest star in music...ever.

What this year's show lacked was any shred of anything memorable. I went to high school pep assemblies more entertaining than this. It makes you miss the old Britney, doesn't it? Here are the winners:

Video of the Year: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best Male Video: Chris Brown "With You"
Best Female Video: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best New Artist: Tokio Hotel
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best Rock Video: Linkin Park "Shadow of the Day"
Best Hip Hop Video: Lil Wayne "Lollipop"
Best Dancing in a Video: Pussycat Dolls "When I Grow Up"
Best Art Direction: Gnarls Barkley "Run"
Best Choreography: Gnarls Barkley "Run"
Best Cinematography: The White Stripes "Conquest"
Best Direction: Erykah Badu "Honey"
Best Editing: Death Cab For Cutie "I Will Possess Your Heart"
Best Special Effects: Kanye West "Good Life"


matchbox06 said...

Why were half the awards not even on the show. Did I miss something?

Bronson said...

They pretty much gave those awards to Britney to say "I'm sorry". It's not like any of the other videos were very good anyways though. I agree with your assessment: very underwhelming VMAs.

hun*ter said...

The awards that weren't presented during the broadcast were the technical awards. They only put the high profile, star studded awards on the show.

Anonymous said...

I didn't see them, but after reading 17 tracks' account of the VMA's, I don't feel like I have to. It's pretty sad when the bloggers who blog about the award show are more interesting than the actual event.

Anonymous said...

pretty weak having a brit make disparaging remarks about americans in america...I can turn on the nightly news and get that

vicm said...

I seriously haven't heard ANYTHING good about the VMAs this year but I thought that Rihanna did a good job with both the songs she sung. If only she did something controversial or wore less clothes, then people would have liked the show.

Anonymous said...

Who needs awards? Rihanna's thighs more than made up for anything lacking.

matchbox06 said...

She does have big thighs doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

I heart promise rings.

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