American Idle: Season Eight Finale

I've lived a lot of places growing up. I was born in Utah, raised mostly in Arizona, but in between those two locations, my family moved around quite a bit. One place we lived was the small town of Conway, Arkansas. Like the rest of Arkansas, Wal-Mart was the economic and social center of our town. It was probably just a conservative enough a place to be less than happy our former governer was in the White House at the time. The most exciting event every year was Toad Suck Daze (sic), a municipal celebration of...well...I still don't know what, but my brothers and I got to race toads every year.

Conway was the kind of town that you would graduate high school from (CHS, home of the mighty fighting Wampus Cats which, in case you didn't know, is a six legged cougar), and get out of town never to return again. The only problem is that Conway is also home to three universities so you'd probably end up staying and never ever ever leave.

May 20, 2009 will be a day forever remembered in the town of Conway. It was the day that the biggest export from the town was no longer Toad Suck jokes that found their way onto Leno every year. It was the day that Conway native Kris Allen won season 8 of American Idol.

I'll be honest, I've watched two episodes of American Idol in their entirety this season. They were both this week. The producers do a good job with the finale making you wish that you actually had invested time in the show and its contestants but it remains to be seen if I feel the same way a year from now. Here's some random thought from my A.I. viewing experience.

• Simon Cowell is tired of judging talent competitions.
• Adam Lambert is the love child of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury.
• The key to winning American Idol is to "peak" at the right time but not enough to overshadow the front runner. For two years running, Simon's pick to win has gotten second.
• I still hate "So What".
• I don't understand why "Boom Boom Pow" is still No. 1 and Fergie is an Amazon princess. She is gigantic!
• Adam Lambert can pull off the "bird cage" look. Those Spice Girl shoes were a nice touch.
• Gene Simmons needs to cool the whole tongue thing. He's become a parody of himself.
• Kara DioGuardi bothered me a lot, but she made up for it when she belted out "Vision of Love". Imagine that, a judge who can actually sing!
• Kris Allen honestly didn't think he was going to win and now he has to promote the drab "No Boundaries". Why do the finale songs have to suck so much?

That's me in the yellow at the Toad Suck Daze Toad Jump. I think Kris Allen is to my right. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's him. Here's his rendition of Kanye's "Heartless".