Album Review: Christina Aguilera "Bionic"

"Mirror mirror on the wall, they say I'm stuck up, but I'm not at all.  Never mind I am.  It's not my fault I'm the s***." - Christina Aguilera, "Vanity"

     The pop landscape has changed dramatically since Christina Aguilera released her last studio album four years ago.  Fears that she wouldn't be relevant subsided when she started talking about the music she was making.  The album was entitled Bionic, she was working with M.I.A. and Sia, and then she unveiled the album cover that seemed to promise a landmark forward-thinking pop masterpiece.  Then we heard the music.

     Although songs like the title track and "Glam" fulfill that promise, most of the songs are Blackout b-sides like "Not Myself Tonight".  The album is filled by a bloated tracklist of pointless intros, pathetic attempts to be sexy, and songs about how awesome she is. 

     The cohesive feel of the record is interrupted by a pile of ballads dumped in the middle.  Although they don't fit cohesively into the flow of the album, songs like "Lift Me Up" and "I Am" are actually the highlights.  They remind you why Aguilera is a star in the first place - her voice.

Rating: 5/10
Must download: "Bionic", "Glam", "I Am"

Glee and Eclipse Crush Christina's Hopes of No. 1

     "Let us not forget who owns the throne," sings Christina Aguilera at the close of her Bionic album.  "You do mommy," her son Max answers.  Not so fast Max.  Mommy might have sold over 42 million records worldwide and won four Grammys, but the queen she is not.  A quick look at the Billboard 200 album chart makes this crystal clear.

     Her aforementioned album, Bionic, was released last week.  As her first studio album in four years, you'd expect this superstar comeback to easily top the charts.  Instead, Bionic debuted at a more moderate No. 3 selling a tepid 110,000 copies.  That's down from 2006's Back to Basics which sold 346,000 in its first week.  And don't blame the economy or the imploding record industry - Britney sold more copies of her 2008 Circus in its first week than 2007's Blackout.  Regardless, I'm more concerned with how the two albums above Aguilera managed to hit No. 1 and 2 than why Christina sucks (that's already been discussed by Chase).

     No. 1 on this week's Billboard 200 is Glee: The Music, Journey to Regionals EP followed by The Twilight Saga: Eclipse at No. 2.  What's interesting about these two albums is that they didn't have radio support to promote themselves (You could probably say the same thing for Aguilera after "Not Myself Tonight" peaked at an embarrassing No. 23, but I digress).  Instead, these two soundtracks relied on the the television and movie screens respectively as well as their established brands.

Aguilera under performs...in every way

Christina Aguilera is not a nice person.



Now we can begin.

Let's start with the good news: After a four year absence, Christina Aguilera, one of the most applauded vocalists and decorated recording artists of the past decade, has finally made her much-anticipated return with the release of her fourth English-language album, Bionic.

The bad news? It's Aguilera's lowest charting and lowest first-week sales yet. Bionic managed to move a meager 110,000 copies in its first week, bested by both Glee and Eclipse soundtracks. While we could easily blame her under performance on the recession, music piracy or the Obama administration, I have other ideas.

In the beginning, Aguilera seemed just as disposable as the rest, releasing suggestive pop tracks about rubbing genie's bottles, giving girl's what they want, and coming over, baby. But over time it became clear that the one thing that set Aguilera apart from her equally blonde and busty popmates was her superior vocal range, technical precision, and her musical versatility.

Aguilera possessed great artistic drive, delving into various styles, even periods, of music. She took long breaks between albums to maintain normality, start a family, pursue other interests, but while some may argue that her puny discography calls to mind the oft-quoted "quality over quantity," I can't help but wonder if her frequent hiatuses from the music industry have hurt her in the end.

It's been nearly four years since her third LP, Back to Basics, arrived in all its retro-glory, and since then the music scene has undergone some drastic face-lifts. Long gone are the days when power divas melissma-ed their way to the top of the charts; women's role in pop music today has somehow evolved to become the quirky kid sister to the male pop stars older, more serious brother. It's very telling of the times when Katy Perry and Ke$ha sit atop the Hot 100 and Pop Charts, respectively; pop music is a parade of gimmicks.

With Bionic, Aguilera attempts yet another high-concept album, her own gimmick of sorts, this time inspired by electronica and the "future." But what truly inspired this album? According to Aguilera in several interviews, her two-year-old son, Max. Let's consider her latest video for "Not Myself Tonight":

Christina Criticized of Copying

     The music video for Christina Aguiler'a "Not Myself Tonight" has hit the web, and the reviews are in.  People are either saying she's "paying homage" to her idols, or she's completely ripping them off.

     The clip borrows heavily from Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" music video.  From the red lingerie to the scantily clad white diamond dancing scenes, Aguilera isn't doing herself any favors copying an artist she's already been accused of stealing from.

     There's also plenty of Madonna references in the new video.  The S&M scenes are a 2010 update of Madonna's "Human Nature" music video, while the dancing in the rain, crawling across the floor to lap up milk, and overlooking a foggy city with an eye piece recollect the queen of pop's "Express Yourself".

     Aguilera has already addressed the complaints that she isn't being original.  "No rip-offs, we're all inspired by different things. I was inspired ... by artists that came before me," she said to Atlanta radio station Star 94 FM.

     "I've been around for over a decade and I think my work speaks for myself."

     While paying homage is nothing new, Christina's biggest problem is that she's taking a major step backwards.  The video is nothing more than a throw back to her "Dirrty" days.  It comes off like she's been away for too long and is trying too hard to be relevant.

     Check the video below and see what you think.  For more music video comparisons, see what MTV had to say.

Christina Aguilera Rediscovers Modern Music...Sort Of

     It's been four years since Christina Aguilera released a studio album, the retro inspired Back To Basics.  She's decided to come out of hibernation with a new album entitled Bionic.  The cover is phenomenal.  It's the antithesis of what covers of pop albums are supposed to be.  Aguilera has said the album will be an electro-record, showing that she's decided to make modern music once again.

     The lead single, "Not Myself Tonight" is a perfectly fine pop song, but it's also a little late to be sonically cutting edge.  The tune bears the thumbprint of Timbaland and his world conquering pop circa 2006 with the same pops and clicks he became famous for.

     "I didn't write it, actually. I really make sure that I write all my material because it's really important that I feel it, but that song kind of showed up at my doorstep," Aguilera said.  "I was feeling like going back into the studio and expressing what I'm feeling, and what I've learned. So I was asking for tracks, and what not, and that just kind of showed up. I was like, 'Oh my God, I have to sing this song - it's just so me'."

     So basically, after not releasing an album for nearly half a decade, she starts to freak out when she doesn't have a killer lead single so she takes what's given to her.  No worry, it will probably be her best charting song in almost ten years.

Christina Aguilera To Come Out of Hibernation

It has been over three years since Christina Aguilera released a studio album, but the singer is finally readying her next release for this March, entitled Bionic.

Aguilera's interview with Marie Claire sheds some light on only her fourth studio album in over a decade.

"I'd get a little weird about it being too cliche. My first record was very cliched pop - what everyone else wanted," she said. Bionic however, "is just about the future - my son in my life, motivating me to want to play and have fun."

Contributors for the album include Australian artist Sia, Goldfrapp, and M.I.A. Aguilera has thrown the words "electronic", "poppy hip-hop", and "addictive" when describing the music.

But seriously girlfriend, you've been around for over ten years and all you have to show for it is three studio albums. Britney Spears put out twice as much in the same time period. To be fair, Spears contributed little to each of her albums (except In The Zone) and most of her music lacks the depth you try to bring to the table, but how relevant are you after being on hiatus for so long? The musical landscape, especially for female pop music, has drastically changed since you tried to bring retro back.

I will give it to her for what I can only assume is spending more time with her 2-year-old son. Family is more important than pop, no matter how catchy it is.

You can read Christina's Marie Claire article here.

The 2008 American Music Awards

The Grammys are based on the critical acclaim of the academy and reek of prestige, the Billboard Awards are based on cold hard facts and are hard to argue with, and then there are the American Music Awards. It's not like winning an AMA is a bad thing, but it's probably the lamest of the "big three" awards shows. Still, the folks at the AMAs were able to put on a tremendous show and effectively take a snapshot of what popular music was all about in 2008.

Christina Aguilera opened the show with a medley of hits. In seven minutes she managed to change her outfit no less than six times. It wasn't even like she just kept taking layers off either! She took a vest off, added a skirt, and even managed to put a top hat on! Not exactly what I call 'keeps gettin' better' and if she thinks this performance can save her doomed greatest hits collection that opened #9 on its first week on the charts, she's got another thing coming.

New Kids On The Block took to the stage and I was embarrassed for them. How old do you have to be before synchronized dancing doesn't suit you anymore? Luckily, Jimmy Kimmel announced that this was the youngest AMAs ever. Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday by singing about how obsessed everyone is with her life. The performance and general feel of her whole segment oozed of Britney Spears circa 2000. Tabloid barons are foaming at the mouth for the next Annie Leibovitz photos or a juicy sex scandal with David Archuleta.

Since it is the end of the decade, I've been waiting for the new teen pop explosion since they tend to come in ten year cycles. It wasn't until last night that I realized that we were already in the midst of it. Besides Cyrus and Archuleta, the Jonas Brothers performed (as well as continued to be the butt of all jokes by Kimmel), as did Taylor Swift. While this decade's models of teen sensations lack the subtle sexuality of their predecessors, they seem destined for long, healthy careers.

Coldplay brought along their set off the Viva La Vida tour, falling paper butterflies included, for "Lovers In Japan". I can't even explain how much in love with Coldplay I am at this point. They were followed by a bored looking Mariah Carey who sang another lame song off of E=MC2 and reminded everyone how mismanaged this album campaign has been. At least she still looks good in her trademark skin tight black dress and high heels.

Rihanna was on board to support her umpteeth single off of Good Girl Gone Bad, and the funny thing is, after doing all the re release songs, she's gone back to do "Rehab", a Justin Timberlake leftover that was on the album's original release. As always, Riri was fashion forward, sporting a sexy spiky outfit and a emerald encrusted pirate patch. After last week, that might not be the best idea.

Also fashion forward, but in his own unique way, Kanye West took to the stage in a colorful track jacket to perform "Heartless". He won some awards so he didn't throw a fit and he didn't dress up like an angel and ascend into heaven or anything. He was actually pretty humble the whole night...relatively. He reminded everyone that he is the next Elvis and Jimmy Kimmel reminded West that Elvis died on the toilet from a drug OD with a jelly doughnut in his hand. Kanye may be the new Elvis but, he conceded, "we" are the next Beatles.

Winners:
Artist of the Year: Chris Brown (who himself acknoledged that Coldplay should have won. Couldn't have said it better myself)

Pop/Rock Male Artist: Chris Brown
Pop/Rock Female Aritst: Rihanna

Pop/Rock Band/Duo/Group: Daughtry

Pop/Rock Album: As I Am Alicia Keys

Country Male Artist: Brad Paisley

Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift

Country Band/Duo/Group: Rascal Flatts

Country Album: Carie Underwood Carnival Ride

Rap/Hip-Hop Male Artist: Kanye West

Rap/Hip-Hop Female Artist: Apparently this is no such thing

Rap/Hip-Hop Band/Duo/Group: Three 6 Mafia

Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Kanye West Graduation

End of an Era: Ten Years of TRL

Despite the fact that MTV hasn't played a full length music video since 2005, its flagship music video program, Total Request Live, has remained on the air up until its final episode last night. TRL, which was created in the hopeful pre-9/11 climate marked by the rise of teen pop, has been on the air for ten years. To commemorate its run, MTV aired the TRL finale featuring Carson Daly, Beyonce, and the top ten most important music videos of the era. Of course, in traditional TRL mode, the videos were NOT shown in their entirety. I guess that's what YouTube's for, right? Britney topped the list, just in time for Circus to leak in its entirety all over the net. Kid Rock's inclusion makes me happy. I'll bet Kanye will be PISSED when he finds out MTV dissed him again.

10. "Hey Ya!" - OutKast
9. "What's My Age Again?" - Blink 182
8. "Yeah" - Usher & Co.
7. "Crazy In Love" - Beyonce feat. Jay-Z
6. "Bawitdaba" - Kid Rock
5. "Dirrty" - Christina Aguilera
4. "Bye Bye Bye" - N*Sync
3. "I Want It That Way" - Backstreet Boys
2. "The Real Slim Shady" - Eminem
1. "...Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears

T.I. Breakin' Records (Again) And Takin' Names

Today, T.I. and Rihanna's "Live Your Life" made an unheard of leap from #80 to #1 after selling 335,000 digital download and gaining radio airplay. This once again breaks the record for biggest jump to #1, a record that T.I. himself set just over a month ago when "Whatever You Like" soared from 71 to 1. T.I. also becomes the ninth artist in Billboard history to replace himself at the one spot and the first since 2004. With "Whatever You Like" at #2, this week becomes the eleventh instance in chart history that an artist has occupied the top two spots. Rihanna has now scored five #1 hits (three of them this year alone) and she now takes the lead for female artist with most chart toppers this decade. Only Usher with seven has more. Wow.


The biggest jump to number one record has all but become irrelevant. It was originally set by The Beatles in 1964 when "Can't Buy Me Love" went 27-1 in one week (which made them the first and so far, one of two acts to replace themselves with three different songs, Usher was the second). This record remained for 38 years until Kelly Clarkson's, "A Moment Like This" went 52-1 thanks to unprecedented excitement over the crowning of her as the inagural American Idol. Clarkson's jump is now the fifth best in chart history but there is no reason to think it will remain there for very long. The reason for all of the sudden leaps to #1 is the revolution that is legal digital downloading. Whoever wants to be the next to break this record not only needs a molten hot hit of a song, but enough luck to debut in the ninties right before the song takes off so they can make an even better jump. Who would have thought a #100 debut could be so valuable?

Christina Aguilera's "Keeps Gettin' Better" is the week's hot shot debut, coming in at #7. Just a couple weeks ago rock journalists were foaming at the mouth at the idea of a repeat Kanye-50 chart battle, but with 808s and Heartbreak being moved up several weeks, that seems unlikley. Instead, the decade old rivalry between Christina and Britney seems to be heating up with Britney Spears releasing her electro-clash number, "Womanizer", only a week after Aguilera released hers. "Womanizer" debuts today at #96. Other notable entries this week are David Cook's "Light On" at #17 and The Killer's "Human" at #32.

This Weeks Top Ten:

1. "Live Your Life" - T.I. feat Rihanna
2. "Whatever You Like" - T.I.
3. "So What" - Pink

4. "Disturbia" - Rihanna

5. "Let It Rock" - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne

6. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry

7. "Keeps Gettin' Better" - Christina Aguilera

8. "Can't Believe It" - T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne

9. "Paper Planes" - M.I.A.

10. "Gotta Be Somebody" - Nickleback

Biggest Jump To Number One:

1. 80-1 "Live You Life" - T.I. feat Rihanna

2. 71-1 "Whatever You Like" - T.I.

3. 64-1 "Makes Me Wonder" - Maroon 5

4. 53-1 "Take A Bow" - Rihanna

5. 52-1 "A Moment Like This" - Kelly Clarkson

6. 51-1 "Love In The Club" - Usher feat. Young Jeezy

7. 42-1 "Give It To Me" - Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake

8. 41-1 "Umbrella" - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

9. 34-1 "SOS" - Rihanna

10. 32-1 "This Is Why I'm Hot" - Mims

Self Replacement at Number One:

1. Elvis Presley - "Hound Dog" replaced by "Love Me Tender"

2. The Beatles - "I Want To Hold Your Hand" replaced by "She Loves You" replaced by "Can't Buy Me Love"

3. Boyz II Men - "I'll Make Love To You" replaced by "On Bended Knee"

4. Puff Daddy - "I'll Be Missin' You" replaced by "Mo Money Mo Problems"

5. Ja Rule - "Always On Time" replaced by "Ain't It Funny"

6. Nelly - "Hot In Herre" replaced by "Dilemma"

7. OutKast - "Hey Ya!" replaced by "The Way You Move"

8. Usher - "Yeah" replaced by "Burn" replaced by "Confessions Part II"

9. T.I. - "Whatever You Like" replaced by "Live Your Life"

iTunes Watch
Last week, Kanye West set a personal record for highest debut when "Love Lockdown" opened at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100. With virtually no radio airplay and only a couple of days of sales, he seemed a shoe-in for this week's #1 as Pink's "So What" barley beat him out in digital downloads despite having an entire week of sales. West had a lock down on the one spot on iTunes until yesterday when Pink's "So What" snatched it (who's still buying this song?) followed by Katy Perry's rising "Hot N Cold". That'll throw a wrench in Kanye's plans.

Meanwhile, new releases by Christina Aguilera ("Keeps Gettin' Better") and The Killers ("Human") are now available for legal download on the site. Neither of these tracks have made it to the top ten yet, but T.I. and Rihanna's "Live Your Life" has. The song, from T.I.'s Paper Trails album (out today) samples the infamous "Numa Numa Song" (actually titled "Dragostea Din Tei" by O-Zone) and is Rihanna's best song since "Umbrella". It's current #9 place on iTunes top 100 songs is made all the more impressive considering it has yet to be officially released as a single, has received little airplay, and doesn't even have a music video. Rihanna is an unstoppable force of nature.

Upcoming Releases Update

Kanye West
808's and Heartbreak
"November something"
Lead Single: "Love Lockdown"

Kanye has moved up his fourth album from December 16 to "November something" saying, "I finished the album and I felt like (moving up the date). I want yall to hear it as soon as possible." He's also announced his involvement in a muppet-uppet variety show entitled Alligator Boots.

Christina Aguilera

Keeps Gettin' Better: A Decade of Hits

November 11

Lead Single: "Keeps Gettin' Better"

Christina first got her big break singing "Reflection" from Mulan, the Disney film about a young Chinese girl who wants to be a "Fighter" and signs up for the Chinese army to stop the Hun. Ten years later, Christina is donning a space helmet for the cover of her greatest hits package. Today, China is launcing their third manned mission into space. Coincidence? We think not.

The Killers

Day & Age

November 25

Lead Single: "Human"

The Stuart Price produced "Human" is now streaming on the Killer's official preview. Brandon Flowers asks, "Are we human or are we dancer?" I didn't know that those two things were mutually exclusive.

Britney Spears
Circus
December 2
Lead Single: "Womanizer"

Simon Cowell has confirmed that Britney will be performing on X Factor, the British version of American Idol and #1 show in the country. In conversation with Extra who reported the annoucement, Cowell commented, "I've always said this about Britney -- that she's a hugely talented person. Everyone wants to work with her because she's a star. She's the number one booking in the world at the moment for a show... The fact that she goes a bit crazy occasionally makes her more interesting. And now she has her career back on track -- fantastic. I'm thrilled."

Upcoming Releases

The biggest selling album of 2000 was NSync's No Strings Attached which netted 9,900,000 copies sold. The biggest selling album in 2007 was a Christmas album, Josh Groban's Noel, which only managed 3,600,000 copies. It would take 2.75 Noel's to equal the success of No Strings Attached and maybe that's what the record industry needs; more releases.
2008 has already boasted new albums from big names, notably Mariah Carey, Madonna, Usher, Lil Wayne and Coldplay. Still, the year's sales are predicted to be below last years. November and December and two of the most important months for all of retail and music is no exception. Late 2008 is boasting more big name releases to add to the already illustrious list, but will it be enough?

Oct. 7 - Oasis Dig Out Your Soul

Oct. 16 - AC/DC Black Ice

Nov. 4 - Fall Out Boy Folie A Deux

Nov. 4 - Hillary Duff The Best of Hillary Duff

Nov. 11 - Missy Elliott Block Party

Nov. 11 - Christina Aguilera Keeps Gettin' Better (A Decade of Hits)

Nov. 18 - Beyonce TBA

Nov. 18 - Kelly Clarkson TBA

Nov. 18 - David Cook TBA

Nov. 25 - The Killers Day & Age

Dec. 2 - Britney Spears Circus

Dec. 16 - Kanye West 808's and Heartbreak

OK, we were joking about Hillary Duff. But dude, anyone who's anyone besides U2 has or will release and album in 2008. Don't worry, their twelfth studio release is slated for early 2009.

2008 MTV Video Music Awards Results

If the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards had to be summed up in one word it would be 'underwhelming'. Let's start with host Russell Brand. In the commercials he seemed like a funny guy but after the first two minutes of him on stage, he needed to sit down. Commenting on America's political situation, insinuating places he smears cherry chapstick besides his lips, and mocking the Jonas Brothers virginity (to which Jordin Sparks responded "I just want to say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and girl wants to be a slut, OK?"), he managed to offend most of the people in the tiny garage studio MTV decided to hold the show. Their venue selection was pathetic. And can they afford cameras with better image quality?

Brand said that Britney Spear's opening of the show would be "mindbending". Despite her camp claiming she wouldn't be performing, leaked footage of the pop star dancing to a unreleased song and MTV.com's headline of her "epic continuing" over-promised what ending up being nothing more than Britney saying "welcome". Still Spears dominated the night winning all three of the awards that she was nominated for including the coveted Video of the Year for "Piece of Me". The Gnarls Barkley video for "Run" was the only other clip to win more than one moonman.

Rihanna was the show's opening performer, invading the stage with a troupe of dancing zombies a la "Thriller" as she performed "Disturbia". Liberal samples of "Sweet Dreams" and "Seven Nation Army" were thrown in. Christina Aguilera rediscovered modern music and lip synced the new single from her forthcoming greatest hits package, "Keeps Gettin' Better". I think she's trying to steal Lady Gaga's sound and image before anyone realizes who Lady Gaga is.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night came as the Best New Artist was announced. This award was determined by fans texting in their favorite pick, so it seemed logical that whoever had the most 12-16 year old female fans would win. Instead, German band Tokio Hotel snatched the honors. I thought their excess of hair and make up would scare junior high girls away but I guess I'm just out of touch with the youth of today.

Kanye West closed the show performing his new single "Love Lockdown". There were two interesting things to notice about this song. First, it wasn't immediate. Mr. West launched his Graduation album with "Stronger" which was written for the sole purpose of being a hit. After one play, the song was lodged in your head and made it to the top of the charts. "Lockdown", doesn't seem so obsessed with that. Secondly, the rapper did absolutely no rapping. Instead, he crooned into the microphone wearing a gray suit with a glowing red heart pinned next to his lapel. Kanye is out to shatter every hip hop cliche there is and isn't content being just the genre's biggest star. He's out to be the biggest star in music...ever.

What this year's show lacked was any shred of anything memorable. I went to high school pep assemblies more entertaining than this. It makes you miss the old Britney, doesn't it? Here are the winners:

Video of the Year: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best Male Video: Chris Brown "With You"
Best Female Video: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best New Artist: Tokio Hotel
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears "Piece of Me"
Best Rock Video: Linkin Park "Shadow of the Day"
Best Hip Hop Video: Lil Wayne "Lollipop"
Best Dancing in a Video: Pussycat Dolls "When I Grow Up"
Best Art Direction: Gnarls Barkley "Run"
Best Choreography: Gnarls Barkley "Run"
Best Cinematography: The White Stripes "Conquest"
Best Direction: Erykah Badu "Honey"
Best Editing: Death Cab For Cutie "I Will Possess Your Heart"
Best Special Effects: Kanye West "Good Life"