The Top 5 Facebook Friends To Delete

     If you're anything like me, you probably could stand to trim your list of Facebook friends.  We all have at least a handful that we couldn't pick out a police lineup, but sorting out friends from "friends" can be an overwhelming task.  To help you out, use this handy guide for the top five type of friends to drop.

1. The Over User
     The over user is the person who is on Facebook constantly and makes sure everyone knows.  You log on and your news feed is clogged with their mostly useless status updates.  Oh great, Jim is going to the grocery store.  Awesome, he's skipping the gym.  Oh great, he just got a phone call from his mom.  We don't care!


2. The Liker
     The liker likes a lot of stuff.  Pictures of a recent trip to 7-11?  Like.  Mark is friends with Lisa?  Like.  Julie got a B on her physics test?  Like.  Jason is in a complicated relationship?  Like.  Alicia has a stomach ache?  Like.  There is no limit to the things the liker can like.

3. The Compliment Fisher
     The fisher uses their status updates to feel better about themselves. They often post things about feeling like a loser, overweight, or not attractive for the sole purpose of being flooded with supportive friends writing things like, "No, you are so cool/skinny/cute!" for the whole world to see.

4. The Secret Bragger
     The secret bragger uses Facebook as a platform to tell the world how awesome they are.  Of course, they can't come right out and say it, so they do it in a round about way.  "OMG I was at the mall and this creepy old man was totally checking me out.  EWWWWW!"  Translation: I'm hot.  "Awesome workout at the gym.  I am going to be sooooo sore."  Translation: I can bench more than you.  The best is when they post one of those stupid lineups of Pokemon or Glee characters and tag themselves as the best one.  Please, don't flatter yourself.

5. The Gamer
     The gamer likes to play games.  I've never actually played Farmville, but it has to be fun if every other story on my news feed is about someone finding a pig or goldfish or whatever else you find in these games.  If that isn't enough, these people, many who you know very little about, ask you to join the game.  They really don't want you to join so you can enjoy it too, they just want more points.

     Let's be honest, you probably won't delete any of these people right?  Because the more "friends" you have, the more popular you are.  And on top of that, Facebook wouldn't be half as fun without them.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I delet for more personal reasons, and what gets me as insane people who think if you delete them you are no longer "friends" in life! it is sad really.

Alan Taylor Farnes said...

I wish i could delete the person with 60 friends and feels obligated to both like AND comment on just about everything I do. But, if I did, since she only has 60 friends, she would notice.
And rather than deleting friends, I simply "hide" them. That way I keep my popularity without my news feed being clogged with people I don't know/don't care about.

Lauren's blog said...

You are so right about the, "We all have at least a handful that we couldn't pick out a police lineup." I've actually started to try to delete people for just this reason. What I'm concerned about is - did I go through a phase where I accepted people I didn't know or has my memory gotten so bad I don't know how I know these people? Oh facebook.

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